Relationships in High School

Dating is one of the toughest things to navigate in high school. You can feel like an outsider if you’re not in a relationship, you might feel like things are getting too serious too fast, or you might not want to date and feel like there’s something wrong with you.

Our private school is here to tell you that all of these thoughts and feelings are completely normal. See how to work your way through the world of dating in our blog, and parents, check out our admissions page to help your child apply for Resurrection Christian School.

“Everyone is dating except for me…”

First of all, not true! It can feel like that if all your friends are beginning to date, or when you feel kind of awkward and alone at the high school dance (trust us — we’ve all been there). But you’re certainly not the only one who’s single. Even if you were, that’s honestly a good thing.

In high school, you want to have those romantic experiences with others and you don’t want to feel left out. Your parents aren’t wrong when they say “it will happen,” because it truly will. Adults who dated in high school sometimes end up wishing they would have waited. Adults who were single all throughout high school usually have zero regrets. Dating in high school isn’t necessarily bad, but it just goes to show that high school is temporary, and you have your whole life ahead of you to get involved with someone else.

“I don’t want to be inexperienced at dating…”

More specifically, most high schoolers are worried that they’re not going to be good at kissing or other physical stuff. There is so much to say on this topic, it could practically be its own blog. But to start, we’ll say that this feeling is normal. You are not alone for feeling this way, and honestly, it would be kind of strange if at 16, 17, or even 18 you knew exactly what you were doing.

Dating is about getting to know someone, sharing in intimacy, and building and strengthening a connection. The physical side of relationships are important, but they should absolutely come second to the partnership that you are forming. At least, that’s true if you’re wanting to have a lasting relationship.

The point is that everyone is inexperienced at dating at some point in their lives, and when they begin dating a new person, they’ll be inexperienced at dating that person as well. All you can do is listen, learn, reflect, and try your best. And for an additional piece of advice, if you are able to have lasting friendships, through the good and the bad, you’re getting great experience for having a relationship.

“I’m afraid to break up…”

As we mentioned earlier, dating is about getting to know someone and strengthening a connection with them. It’s also about recognizing when something’s not right, and having the courage to acknowledge that being single is far better than being in the wrong relationship.

Far too many people stay in relationships because they’re afraid to be single. Our private school cannot emphasize this point enough: if you’re in a relationship solely because you don’t want to be alone, you are not ready for a relationship, and you probably should spend some time on your own.

Think about it this way — would you rather be with someone who’s not right for you, or wait for someone who is? People talk about “dating to marry” and while that sentiment is admirable and there’s a lot of truth to it, you shouldn’t force something, especially not for the wrong reasons.

Dating is all about learning more about yourself and what qualities in another person are important to you. It’s a process and a learning experience, and breakups happen to nearly every person on the planet. Very few people look back at their breakup and wish it had never occurred — nearly everyone ends up thankful that it happened, because it happened for good reason.

“I’m not interested in dating…”

Not wanting to date people? There’s nothing wrong with that either, regardless of what other people might tell you. Maybe you want to focus on school and your friends, maybe you’re not interested in anyone at your school, maybe you have no desire to date whatsoever. All of that is completely fine.

If you met someone who didn’t like mac ‘n’ cheese, you might think it’s shocking or strange for a second, but otherwise wouldn’t really care. Dating’s the same way — just because some people are all about it doesn’t mean you have to be. Plenty of people go their whole lives without dating someone or having a serious relationship — it’s not unusual! A relationship can be immensely fulfilling and enriching, but you can (and should be able to) have a fulfilling life without one.

“I don’t know how to ask someone out…”

Here’s the thing about asking someone out (and romantic gestures in general): if the other person is into you, they’re going to say yes. If they’re not into you, they’ll (hopefully) say no. It might seem like a gamble, but either outcome is a good one. Even if you hear “I’m not interested,” at least you know! Pat yourself on the back for being courageous, be respectful and thank them for their honesty, and move on.

In order to ask someone out, however, you should probably work towards having some kind of connection with them first so that you can get to know them, see if they’re still someone you’re interested in, and to gauge how they’re feeling. Super important to note: gauge how they’re feeling, not how you want them to feel.

Additionally, make sure you’re being authentic. If you’re asking a bunch of people out for the sake of trying to be somebody, regardless of who it is, you’re probably going to hear a lot of nos (as you should). If you’re truly interested in the person and think there’s a chance they feel the same, go for it!

Trust us at RCS when we say that dating can be rough, and in high school especially, the road can be a rocky one. Our private school knows that dating and relationships feel like the crux of existence for many high schoolers, but we’re here to let you know that there are so many other important things to focus on right now. Spend time with your friends and make memories with them. Work on your grades and get involved at our private school. Start investing and planning into your future, thinking about life after high school. The dating stuff will fall into place when it’s time.

Interested in having an amazing high school experience that prepares you for college and beyond? Look into enrollment with our private high school in Loveland today, and get set for the upcoming school year! We look forward to hearing from you.


Family New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s Eve is exciting for many reasons, but one of the biggest reasons for this feeling of joy is the thought of a clean slate. A whole new and fresh year to make some changes in your life. A chance to reflect on the past year, and to create room for growth in the next one.

Whether you’re thinking about cutting out soda or desiring to show more patience to your family members, this is a great time to think about your goals as a whole. As 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” It’s almost like this verse was written with resolutions in mind!

Everyone should always have a personal idea of how they want to self-improve, but creating some family resolutions are an excellent way to connect with your loved ones and strengthen the bonds between you. Our private school has the inspiration you need to get started. Try out these family resolutions to ring in the new year in a positive, loving, and optimistic manner.

Choose kindness.

Let’s face it — the things that family members say to each other (siblings, we’re looking at you) are not always the kindest. Part of this just comes from being so close with one another. Since family is blood and they’re not going anywhere, it’s easier to say the first thing on each other’s minds from time to time.

But this can lead to hurt feelings and way too much conflict management/damage control. It’s also not living out God’s message. New Year’s is a great time to reflect as a family about some of the word choices that are being used, and how those can be improved.

It’s completely fine to start small. Think of one or two words or phrases in particular that you as a parent think should be eliminated from the household (and family vocabulary in general). Talk with everyone in the family about how you’re feeling, and start a dialogue on it — why is this word being used? Does it have a negative or positive implication?

In addition to thinking about words to exclude, your family can reflect on some phrases to include. Everyone could choose a day of the week to give some compliments to one person in the family, and it rotates each week for who’s in the spotlight. By making kindness transparent, talked about, and intentional, your family will absolutely feel the difference in dynamic.

Give back.

There are 8,760 hours in a year. It should be possible for everyone to give at least three of those hours to a volunteer opportunity. But when crazy schedules, school, sports, and everything else seem to make the year simply fly by, it’s difficult to add in another commitment to the agenda.

Make it easier for your family by starting out with the intention of everyone committing to a volunteer opportunity together. If you plan it at the beginning of the year, you have a better chance of having it on the calendar and making it a priority (just make sure you have reminders when the date gets close so you don’t forget, or suddenly remember when you’ve accidentally overbooked).

Jesus teaches us that giving to others and helping one another is one of the most important things we can do. Building this principle into your family helps build character, generosity, and selflessness — traits that everyone can continue to grow in.

Do less.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the number of things your family has going on. Now that everyone’s hands are in the air, let’s talk about why it’s time to do less.

From extracurriculars to sports to music lessons to dance class, there are so many things going on in your family’s life that there’s hardly a moment to just relax. It’s impossible to recharge if everyone is always busy. Our private school thinks you should make this the time of year that you commit to doing less, as impossible as it might sound.

Were there things last year you could cut out? Were there events or activities or things you agreed to be a part of, even though you didn’t want to? While obligations are sometimes unavoidable, no one should spend their precious free time (and it is precious) doing only what others are wanting. This means you can say no to some of the birthday parties, cookouts, etc. Even if your family makes a resolution of saying “no” to something just five times a year, this is five times as much recharging time as you had in the previous year.

Far too often, we think we have to be doing something. Your family should plan on having at least one weekend a month where no one’s going anywhere, and everyone’s hanging out. Rent a movie, stay in, read some books, make some homemade pizza, go for a short hike, but lay low. If doing less sounds impossible to your family, it’s a sign that you all need to do less.

Read more.

Reading is one of the most important things in a child’s development (and it’s an essential growth opportunity for adults as well). If your family is already quite the clan of bookworms, keep doing what you’re doing! But if your family has gravitated more towards screen time than reading time, it’s a good time to start thinking about a switch.

Your family can make a reading goal of how many books each person is going to read. Divide this up into quarters throughout the year (“By March, I will read _____ books”), then have a celebration every time you all meet your goals. Or, you can each make a list of books that you want to read during the year, and then have a family lunch where you chat about the books you’ve each been reading.

If you have very young children that still listen to you reading books aloud, keep doing this as well! Literacy skills are one of the most important things that a child can develop; they’re skills that impact a child in more ways than we can even imagine.

Resurrection Christian School in Loveland is a private school that thinks your family is simply incredible. You are the foundation for the students we work with, and when you can strengthen and build the connections and love with your family, everyone is impacted. Your children will be happier and more grounded, and more confident in their abilities and future. Spending time thinking about resolutions as a family is something that you won’t forget.

 

Interested in enrolling your child with the best private school in Northern Colorado? Resurrection Christian School offers preschool, elementary, middle, and high school to families in the Loveland area. Contact our school to schedule a tour today!