There are many values that are important to teach our children, values that will help them grow and develop into well-rounded adults. These values include everything from empathy and kindness to perseverance and patience. Teaching your children to behave properly, treat others with respect, and even to have self-confidence can be challenging, but it is important.
One other value that is important to teach your kids is honesty. Being honest can be hard, especially at a young age. But helping your child understand the importance of being honest can help them to grow to be honest teens and adults. Children are able to tell the difference between lying and telling the truth, but whether they choose to tell the truth depends on what you to help them realize the importance of honesty.
We have talked a lot about helping your children learn these important values in life and at Resurrection Christian School, we help to encourage our students to live by these values. While we can help to make your students well-rounded people, it is your job as their parents to teach them the importance of being empathetic, kind, patient, and honest.
In this blog, we will help by giving you tips to teaching your children and teens honesty. Keep reading to learn more and help your kids learn an important life lesson.
Teaching Your Kiddos
Before your children reach their teen years, establishing a sense of honesty can help them to stay on the right track. Honesty should become part of your child’s moral compass, allowing them to understand that telling the truth is the right thing to do.
Children lie for many reasons, whether they are scared of the consequences, afraid to disappoint their parents, or simply know what they did was wrong. But what you need to establish, is a safe place to tell the truth. If they feel worse for telling the truth, it is not likely that they will do it often.
Calling your child a liar is not something that will help them become more honest. Kids lie for a reason and if you throw a label on that, they may begin to live up to that label. Both babycenter and sheknows mention that calling your child a liar will only make teaching your child about honesty more difficult. Instead, explain to your children that your don’t like lies but that doesn’t change the way you feel about your child.
The babycenter article suggests saying something that give your child a chance to explain why they lied. Try saying, “I don’t like lying, but sometimes we lie because we are afraid we did something wrong.” This will allow your kid to understand that lie is bad, but not make them feel so guilty for their little lie. This gives them a chance to explain to you why they lied and tell you the truth. Letting your child know that telling the truth is the right thing to do, even if what they did was bad, they will begin to develop a sense of honesty.
Don’t Give Them Opportunities
Some things that parents do or ask, give children the opportunity to lie. Asking if your child finished their homework as they are running out the door to play with their friends, is a great example. They are not going to tell you that they haven’t finished and risk not being able to play with their buddies. Instead, ask them to show you their homework when they finish and then they can head outside to play. If they know you are expecting to check up with them and make sure their work is all done, they will not have a chance to lie and they know it. Be sure to check up with them though, if you say it and don’t do it, they will use that knowledge next time to lie and head outside early.
If you set your child up to tell the truth, they will be more likely to tell the truth since you are making it hard for them to lie. While real life situations won’t be as simple to know the right answer, they will have practice telling the truth which will help them to know what to do in situations that aren’t set up for them.
Don’t Let Lies Slide
When your child lies to you, there must be consequences. If you simply say don’t lie and move on, they will not see the negative consequences that come with a lie. But keep in mind that you don’t want your children to feel afraid of the consequences. Like we said before, your child should feel safe about telling the truth, they should know that they will be in less trouble for telling the truth than the were for the lie.
When your child tells the truth, praise them. Thank them for being honest with you and ask them why they lied. Knowing their motive will help you to understand what the problem was and why they were scared to tell you the truth. If they lied about getting a bad grade on a homework assignment because they were scared you would be disappointed, you can let them know that if they ever need help on homework they should let you know so you can help them. If you get mad about the grade and raise your voice at them, they will be more likely to lie the next time as well.
While some punishments may be too harsh and cause your kids to fear telling the truth after they lie, one thing you can do is to help them set it straight. If they did something wrong and lied about it, tell them that they have to make it right. If they took a toy from their friend’s house without their friend knowing, take them to return it to their house and apologize for taking it. Their friend will be happy to get their toy back but may be mad at your child. Tell your child that it was worth telling the truth because the friend was happy that their toy was returned to them, even if they are upset with your child. Tell them you are proud that they chose to tell the truth, it will make them feel better as well.
Teach About White Lies
Teaching your child the difference between lying and little white lies may be challenging, but it is also important. You want your child to be polite rather than blurt something out that may hurt someone’s feelings. Rather than teaching them that it is okay to lie sometimes, teach them to find something nice to say instead of saying a truth that may be hurtful. Teach them the famous saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” This will help you kids either find something else positive and kind to say, or they will keep their hurtful truth to themselves. This is an easy way to teach your child about white lies without calling them lies and keep your kid honest.
Reminding Your Teens
Even if you teach your younger children to be honest, as they grow into teenagers, they will have more to lie about and more serious things to lie about. Whether your child is usually good at telling the truth or they are known to tell a lie, they will need a reminder about why telling the truth is important.
Lead By Example
One way you can remind your teen that being honest is important is to be honest yourself. If you mess up don’t hide it from your kids or spouse. Tell them the truth and let them know that you made a mistake or did something that they may not be happy with. If it easy to lie, but if you want your children to adopt honesty, you must be honest.
When your teens are around, be sure to model honesty. They will be watching and pick up on your lies, even the little ones. So be sure to stay honest and show them that even if it is hard to tell the truth, it is the right thing to do. This includes what you tell them about lying. If you tell them they won’t get in trouble for telling the truth, don’t punish them when they do.
Teens will often test their parents to see how they react when they tell them the truth. According to an article from the Washington Post, staying calm, curious, and not overreacting can help encourage your teens to tell the truth. If they are honest about their terrible test grade and you lose your temper, they are less likely to be honest about something else that may be more serious. They are gauging your reaction, so try not to react negatively.
Make Punishments Fair
Hopefully your teen is not lying about anything too serious, but if they are the punishment may need to be more serious as well. But for small lies, keep the consequences similar and fair. If they lied about failing a test, take their phone away for the night while they focus on their homework. Fair punishments will help them realize it was wrong to lie but not make them fearful of telling the truth.
Talk It Out
Talking with your teen is effective. They are old enough to have a conversation so show them that you view them as a young adult. Even if it turns into an argument, try to figure out why they have started lying so much, ask how you can help, and communicate why you are upset that they are lying. A conversation may be better than any other tactics.
Teaching your child and teen honesty is important and can help them develop into an adult with values. Use these tips to help teach the importance of honesty and don’t forget to set a good example. At RCS, we help our student learn these important values and more. Take a tour and contact us for more info!
Every parent wants their child to be successful, to do that best they can in everything they do. Parents push their children to get straight A’s, all while maintaining a social life, extracurricular activities, and working towards their future. Not only is the pressure to succeed hard on children, but parents often become too involved in their children’s life to let them fail, which may seem like a good thing, but isn’t. Failure helps to build character and allows people to learn from their mistakes. Teaching your child that failure is bad, is more harmful than letting them fail.
Teaching your child that failure is okay may be difficult to do, but this can help them to understand that mistakes can help them to succeed. However, teaching your child to fail must be done right, you want to make sure they know that failure only means that can learn from their mistakes, not give up. This is why we teach our children about failing, because we want them to learn and grow from it, not quit because of it.
While you may not want your child to fail at all, eventually they will, and when they do it is important for them to know that from failure comes success. Many people who were taught that failure is a bad thing may have been successful for so long, but everyone fails eventually, and the difference is what you do with that failure. People who are scared to fail may give up more easily out of the fear of failing again. For this reason, it is important to teach our children to fail and to come back from their failures.
Your child’s success is important, but helping them develop the right mindset about failure and hard work can help them to reach success and be more confident when they do fail. At Resurrection Christian School, we want our students to succeed just as much as you do, and we maintain a 100 percent graduation rate while offering unique and rigorous courses. We work hard to help our students succeed and offer college prep for our high school students, allowing them to properly prepare for their future.
There are certain precautions you want to take when teaching your children about failure. Helping them to have the right mindset about their abilities can help them to overcome failure and become successful. In this blog, we will cover different lessons to teach you child about failure and how you can help them to perceive failure as a learning opportunity.
The truth of the matter is that parents have a huge impact on the way their children view the world and their mindset on different matters. An NPR article takes a deeper look at a parent’s effect on their children. In this article, they mention that children who view their abilities as something that can change overtime handle obstacles, such as failure, in more constructive ways. Parents can help kids to develop this mindset.
The way parents react to their children’s failures and mistakes can alter the way the kids view their abilities and intelligence. The NPR article quotes Kyla Haimovitz, a professor of psychology at Stanford University. Haimovitz says that parents need to react in certain ways to help their children develop this mindset, that abilities can be improved with hard work and to not give up. If you child come home with a bad grade on a test, the way you react could change the way your child thinks. Saying something that implies they are better in other subject and and reassuring them that they still have talent in other areas may seem like a good response, but it could also tell them that they should give up in the subject they got the bad score in, since they have other areas they are better at. You want your children to keep working at these things and try improving their skills and knowledge, so saying they are better in other areas may send the wrong message.
Haimovitz and her colleague, Carol Dweck, conducts studies to see how a parent’s view on failure changed the cay the children feel about their abilities and intelligence. They found that, “the more parents believed that failure is debilitating, the more likely their children were to see them as concerned with their performance outcomes and grades rather than their learning and improvement.”
After surveying parents about their feelings towards their children coming home with a failing quiz grade, they found that parents who saw failure as an opportunity believed their children could still improve in the subject. They were more likely to ask their children what they have learned from the quiz, what they can still learn, and if their child asking for a teacher’s help would be useful. The study concluded that a parent’s reaction to failure directly caused the child’s beliefs.
The point of all of this is to react to your child’s failures and setbacks in a way that helps them and gives them a desire to improve. Rather than focusing on their abilities and whether their abilities can improve, focus on how they can improve and what they can learn from their mistakes.
Dealing With Failure
After you realize that your perception on failure matters to your child’s beliefs, it will be easier for you to help them deal with failure. Your child will fail at something eventually, everyone does, but the way you help them deal with it is what is important.
An article from Child Mind® Institute lists out the process of teaching your child to fail, provided by Dr. Amanda Mintzer, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. The first step is to show empathy. Your child will be disappointed when they fail, especially if they did work hard. Don’t brush off their feelings, rather tell them that you understand their disappointment and know they wanted to do better and worked hard to do better. Help your children understand that failures happen in life, to everyone. Letting them know that you have failed many times before can help them see that from failure comes success.
The way you react to failure can help your child learn how to react as well. If you take it as a learning opportunity, they will develop that same mindset and try learning from their mistakes rather than giving up. When your child fails, talk with them about what they could do differently next time or what they can learn from their failures. If they failed a test, help them figure out how to study differently or what to study. We have all failed tests before because we studied the wrong material or we did not study the right way. Helping them figure out the best ways to study or learn from their mistakes can help them to grow and avoid the same failures in the future.
Using Failure As An Opportunity
Teach your child to try again. Giving up will never help them reach success and trying again may be scary, especially after failing, but it is important. Teach them that perseverance can help them to reach their goals and be successful. If your child is having a hard time using their failure as an opportunity, share these quotes with them from Forbes, from very successful people, who have all failed before.
Failing is the best learning experience we can get. It teaches us what not to do, allows us to think about what to do differently, and helps us build character. Experiencing failure and other setbacks can help a child (and adults) to become more humble and allows them to learn how to be a good sport about it. Teaching your child to have a good attitude after a failure is important as well. While it may be hard to put a smile on your face and try again, it is important and can help other people view you differently.
If you child gives up after failing, they will never learn the importance of perseverance and they will quit every time they run into a complication. Whether your child fails a test or loses a game, teaching them that they can improve and do better next time can help them to not feel completely defeated. Working hard to do better on on the next game or test can help them to build a better work ethic and can lead them to success. The true failure quits rather than trying again.
No one wants to fail. But failing is one of the best things we can do, because it helps us build character, learn from our mistakes, and work even harder to reach success. Failure helps us to develop a more positive mindset about our intelligence and how we can improve. Many parents push their children to succeed, which we all obviously want, but those children who fear failure, will take it so much harder when they do fail. Teaching our children that failure is nothing but a learning opportunity and a chance to try again in important and will change the way they view failure. To be successful, you must first know how to fail and how to come back from that setback.
At Resurrection Christian School, we don’t want our students to fail, but we do want them to understand that failures happen to everyone. And more importantly, we want them to know how to use that failure as a positive in their life, learn from it, and be successful the next time they try something. Teach your child how to fail and help them to succeed. We can help your child prepare for the future and all the setbacks they may face, and how to deal with them. Learn more about our school, and set your child on the path to success.
There are two types of people in this world—leaders and followers. And while that may seem cliché, it is true and there will always be those who enjoy taking control of different situations. Some leaders may surface during situations that require someone stepping up to the challenge. And a leader can be made. Children have the possibility of turning out in one of two ways, will your child be a leader or a follower?
Every parents wants their child to be a leader—to have the attitude, mentality, and ability to lead a group and themselves. And this is something that you can teach your children. As parents, you can help them learn how to think as a leader would and act as they would act. At Resurrection Christian School, we understand the importance of leadership among different peer groups, and we love seeing our students emerge as leaders. There are many different things you can do to help your children develop and grow into leaders. These lessons and skills may come naturally, but there are ways you can help your child start on the path to leadership.
Start When They Are Young
Your kids learn from watching you and your actions. If you have a positive attitude, face challenges and show them that failure is a learning opportunity. Encourage your children to step outside of their comfort zone whenever possible, push themselves mentally and physically, and take risks. This will allow your children to get comfortable standing up against fears and prepare them to face others.
At a young age, your child will be able to develop different traits and will learn more your actions. Be a good role model for them and show them what a true leader looks like. This will help them begin to adopt their own leadership skills and continue learning new skills into the future.
Teach Them To Work As A Team
A leader works with a team to achieve a goal. Team activities can help encourage your children to take charge and try to motivate everyone to work together. Even if they do not develop leadership skills on the team, it is important for them to see why it is important that an entire team works together and the value in having a team.
If you child does develop leadership skills on their team, be sure to help them best put these skills to use and make the team feel like they can only reach their goals with everyone working together. Teaching your child to be motivating to others may be a challenge but it is something that will help them become a better leader.
Speaking of the importance of motivation, you should always motivate your children. Make sure they know what they are working towards, as well as the importance of what they’re doing, and that hard work pays off. Keeping your kids motivated can help them feel more confident in their work, feel as though they have significance, and can keep them interested in reaching their goals.
Work On Emotional Intelligence
According to this Forbes article, emotional intelligence (EQ) is a big factor when it comes to developing valuable leadership skills. Emotional intelligence is what helps us manage behavior, make personal decision that achieve positive results, and work through social problems.
EQ is a learned behavior from parents. Children watch how you act in your everyday life, how you respond to strong emotions, and acknowledge how aware of emotions you are.
Forbes mentions a study done by TalentSmart, which found that EQ is responsible for 58 percent of a leader’s performance in their job and 90 percent of top-performing leaders have higher EQs. Being attuned with our emotions may be difficult, but that is because we do not work on developing our EQs. Help your child develop their EQ and they will have a better chance at becoming an effective leader. Emotional intelligence is learned, and these behaviors can easily become habits. Learn more about EQ from the TalentSmart article.
Teach Your Child To Grow From Failure
Every single person, at some point in their life, will experience failure. Whether it is a test, a job interview, or working toward their dream, everyone will face this challenge and have to learn how to deal with it. Teaching your child that failure is okay, will allow them to understand that they can take risks. A leader must learn to take risks and understand the consequences that could come from them.
After your child has faced failure a few times, they will be able to better understand what risks are worth taking. This will help them in many different areas of their life—decision making, comparing risk versus reward, and perseverance.
This is an important part of being a leader and it goes hand-in-hand with failure. Teaching your kids to keep trying and push their challenges and mistakes can help them work until they get it right, and when they finally achieve their goal, they will feel more accomplished and proud of themselves. Failing is only a chance to try something again in a different way, teach them that failure means nothing more than that and have them continue to push themselves and work until they figure it out.
Communication Is Key
Remember that all good leaders are great at communicating. Teach your children how to communicate with everyone, from adults to their peers. Emphasize what good communication looks like compared to bad. Don’t talk for them, allow your children to order their own food, ask adults questions, and communicate with you effectively rather than yelling or throwing a tantrum.
Good communication is not only a good leadership skill, but a life skill that your kids will carry with them throughout their entire lives. Teaching good communication can help them in more ways than one, which is why it is so important to teach them from a young age.
Work On Decision Making
Dealing with failure, working towards a goal, and learning how to act in response to our emotion, all go along with learning how to make good decision. Teaching your child to make good decisions and how to do so can help them greatly in life. They will learn to think about the outcome, why this decision is important, and how it will affect their lives. This is an important quality for a leader to have, and the sooner your child learns the value of good decision making, the easier their life will be.
Let Them Do Their Own Thing
If your child is working on a project, attempting to learn something, or working on an activity, let them work alone. If they struggle, take a step back and let them work their the problem by themselves. Allow them to do things on their own, make their own decisions, and work through their failures. This will teach them not to always rely on receiving help. They will learn to work through their own issues and get the satisfaction of figuring it out on their own. This is a great way to help your children build more confidence, become more independent, and realize the importance of hard work and perseverance.
There are many things you can do to help your children develop leadership skills, this list in only highlighting a few of the most important things that make up a leader. Even if your child does end up being more of a follower, they will benefit greatly from these lessons you taught them.
These lessons, along with an education at Resurrection Christian School, can put your children on a path to success and help them become an effective leader. At RCS, we value leadership and teach our students how to be leaders and what it takes. The lessons you teach your children, along with what we teach at our school, have the potential to make leaders out of more children than most people would expect.
Learn more about the RCS today and work with your children to a learn and understand the importance of these different leadership skill. Feel free to contact us with any questions.